Getting to school to...early? and thank you notes

This morning was the first morning I actually had to stand outside and wait for the janitors to let us into the building because we are, allegedly, getting too school to early. And as I was standing there in the dark, cold, rainy, windy, foggy, misty, bleak, miserable morning I started thinking: since when is it bad to get to a place early? I understand that it is a security risk to have students in the building, but let's be realistic. The people getting to school early are not the ones who are going to be planting bombs in their lockers. Believe it or not, it is the people who are staying after school until 7:30 that have just stopped taking their depression pills, have dozens of tools scattered about the hallway, and are, in general, acting suspiciously.

They might as well come on the announcements and say: "Attention, students, we have been having a problem in the morning because you all way too eager to learn. This is unacceptable. Please sit out in the parking lot and do drugs, drink, or whatever the hell you kids of the new millennium do for fun. Okay. Thanks. Oh and one other thing, teachers please log of your retarded network."

I was also thinking about thank you notes. I had the privilege of writing thank you notes to my relative because they gave me Christmas presents, and I in turn wrote the most grateful thank you notes ever. I don't know if any other families make their kids write thank you notes or if I am the only one who has to, but either way I ask you this: when was the last time you were actually honest while writing thank you notes?

I imagine it would look something like this:

Dear Grandma,
Thanks for the sweater. I noticed that you decided to buy something that I did not specifically ask for on my Christmas list, which you asked for in mid-October so you could begin shopping to beat the rush. But due to the seeming lack of effort, please do one of the following from now on: A. Stick exactly to the Christmas list. B. Don't bother asking for a list because you don't use it anyway. I would be happy to not waste my time writing one if you aren't going to even read it.
Love, Scott
P.S. The sweater is still on the floor in my room. I haven't worn it, and I don't intend to.

Thank you notes are as worthless as the paper they are written on. If someone likes your gift, he or she will tell you. If someone does not like your gift, he or she will write a thank you note.