Spanish Glossaries and People Who Can't Keep Their Hands to Themselves

Every now and then, I'll be turning to the glossary in the back of a one of my text books, and I'll think: "Hmm, something is wrong with this glossary. Something just doesn’t seem to be working right. Ohhh I see, it's in Spanish." But the book that I have is not my Spanish book as one might think. No, no, it is my speech book. I honestly think that the people who made the speech book did not actually believe people would read it. Spanish glossaries make absolutely no sense. The entire book is in English. When the semester is over you get one English credit. Why is someone who doesn't know English using a book completely in English? Is the Spanish speaker supposed to just read the glossary? Did the makers of the book not realize this? Are they retarded? Have you ever tried to read a dictionary? It’s really boring. Don’t you think people ask too many questions?

Anyway, it's not like the Spanish glossary is at the very back of the book in .8 font that no one can read because it is so small. It is right before the real glossary in the same font as the regular English glossary. There is just no logic involved in having a Spanish glossary whatsoever. I think the head text book maker just said: “I feel like putting in a Spanish glossary.” And everyone else was like: “YAY!”

Well, I finished my speech homework in study hall, and I was just sort of staring into space because that is what you do in study hall. I can see out of the corner of my eye the guy sitting two seats down from me. He's one of those people who find it impossible to keep their hands to themselves. I don't know if you've noticed these people, but considering we are in high school, it sure seems like there are a lot of people who can’t. And I also don't know if you've noticed how the only people who can’t keep their hands to themselves are males.

So, this guy is always poking someone or touching someone or scratching someone or giving someone a backrub or fondling someone or thumb wrestling someone (bet you haven't thumb wrestled in a long time) or taking something or, in general, doing something annoying. A sentence of warning: if you find yourself needing to touch something, put your hands in your pockets. I’m sure you were told this when you were little, and you had to go into one of those shops that only sells ceramic figurines, cards, and always smells like pot puree or scented candles. If you put your hands in your pockets, you can’t touch something and break it. That is, unless you trip and fall into a shelf and knock it over. In which case, it would have been better to just have broken one figurine than break an entire shelf full of them. Same general principle here, if you put your hands in your pockets and quit touching people, you won’t look like such a douche bag.