School

It's not that I don't like school. I just don't like getting up early, going to school, learning, getting homework, and riding the bus home. I don't like listening to stuff I don't care about. In general, my teachers have been less than spectacular, so I'm going to highlight a few things that really make my school experience bad.

I hate it when teachers tell you not to sleep. There's something about telling someone not to do something, that makes him or her automatically want to do that thing even more. When someone tells me not to smile, I can't help but smile. When someone tells me I can't go to the bathroom, I immediately feel like I have to go. But have you ever noticed how hard it is to stay awake when you are trying not to fall asleep? I have. It's hard. I can’t stand teachers that tell us not to sleep but then talk with so little excitement that it's a miracle she doesn't even fall asleep while she's talking.

I also don't like it when teachers call on me when my hand isn't up. What are they accomplishing by doing that, honestly? If I don't have my hand up, it could mean one of three things: 1. I don't know, 2. I don't want to say, or 3. I wasn't listening. I thought that whole idea of raising your hand was to let the teacher know you have the answer. If I am wrong about this, I won't know what to believe. And I’ve noticed every time a teacher does that to me, they choose the split second in which I have just started to space off. I may listen the entire period but then zone out for two seconds and that's when the teacher calls on me, guaranteed, every time, never fail, fool proof. Are those words hyphenated. There’s another thing I hate---hyphens.

Another thing I don't like are text books. I know it's hard to write a book because I can barely write a two page paper without falling asleep, but seriously, do they even read what they put in those things? My geometry book has a Spanish glossary, my English book is 15,000 pages long, and my world history book (and I counted) started fifteen sentences in a row with "The Romans". Some books talk to us like we are retarded, some talk to us like we are geniuses. The books would be so much smaller if they took out the half page pictures, used twelve point font, made the margins a reasonable size, and got rid of all the study questions. I also hate how there is a little introductory paragraph about something that has nothing to do with what we are learning about. While we're at it, let's get rid of that stuff too.

And one other thing before I go. Girls, I would like to ask you a favor. Please do not wear pants that are so low that I can see your plumber’s crack. Now, I don’t know if you think that showing your plumber’s crack is some sort of a turn, but it isn’t. It is a turn off. Because it’s gross. Just as gross as when an actual plumber’s plumber’s crack shows. If you have pants like these, go get them right now. Okay, got them? Now, throw them away.